The Oath
of the
Gout Society
A Private Organisation Dedicated to the Promotion of Gustatory Pleasure
The Undersigned natural person, being of legal drinking/voting age
in the county/parish/province in which he/she resides, swears to:
1. Uphold the dignity of the Society in a manner which Custom or the Ready Wit of the Undersigned shall deem Fit and Wholesome.
2. Purvey, imbibe, consume, or cause to be purveyed, imbibed Etc, none but the finest meats, victuals, comestibles, viands, cheeses, fromages, fruits, liquors, liqueurs, brandies, cognacs, armagnacs, oportos, madeiras, sherries, arracks, wines, whiskeys, soups, hors d'oeuvre, pottage, vegetables, and all like ingesta, libation Etc., not named specifically herein.
3. Comport her/himself in a Sportive yet not Frivolous nor Ludicrous manner. Merriness, Frivolity and Mirth must not be exacted of any person, as being sentiments best Induced or Originated from Within.
Further that some persons are more disposed by natural toward Melancholia or Phlegmatism and no amount of (gustatorily sound) diet will transmogrify a Bilious or a Humour to Sanguinity. Those suffering from the latter are notoriously poor companions.a.) Rib-poking, especially after viands, is to be reserved for the closest of friends, or for Fathers to Sons, or Nature has so formed a relationship condoning such familiarity.
b.) Those eschewing to join their comrades in song, whether for dislike of the tune; or stemming from a Felicity for his fellow in light of self-knowledge as regards the faculties of Memory and/or Voice insomuch as the act of joining the others in song might cause them some Auditory Discomfort; or for any reason at all, MUST NOT be repeatedly entreated or co-erced to any degree nor be made to feel shameful for merely listening and possibly swaying or keeping measured time with a foot-tap or finger-drum.
4. Condemn and Censure, as profane to the Divine Gift of Gustation, the sins of gluttony; drunkeness; intoxication by mental stimulants such as opium, pieweed, Etc, that render one insensate to delectation; the Roman use of the Vomitorium; the substitution of Inferior Products in regard to their dearth or lack thereof; and any Practice or Habit contrary to good digestion, physical weel and gustatory pleasure.
X
witnessed
X
Benjamin Franklin
Recording Sec'y